We spend so much of our time doing things we hate
On Friday night while grabbing a quick bite to eat on my own after teaching, I couldn’t help but overhear and eavesdrop on the conversation the women were having beside me. PSA - eating out by yourself might just be one of my favourite ways to relax and decompress. Try it sometime :) The reason I couldn’t stop listening in is because I couldn’t disagree more with what they were saying. The woman was explaining to her friends about how she is proud of her sister for working her way up in a business, but said it is sad because she doesn’t enjoy it at all. She then continued with, “we spend so much of our time doing things we hate”. That’s where I stopped. This was a statement to her; a fact. This was not a comment implying change is needed to spend time doing things we love. It then got me realizing that maybe there is some actual truth to it and people need more help discovering happiness than I realized.
Just this past week, I mentioned to my client that her energy and spirit seemed so much higher than normal and that it was great to see. Her exact words in response? “It’s because this weekend I only did things that I wanted to do, nothing that someone else told me or that I felt obligated to do.” PREACH! As humans – and usually females – we have the tendency to take on a nurturing role, feeling the need to give to others, put others first, and be everything everyone else needs. Then, when it comes down to it, we realize that we aren’t as happy or fulfilled as we could be with the choices we’ve made. In a sense, this can all changed with a simple solution, but a hard task: if we simply give ourselves more choices, and choose happiness.
We are in charge of our own destiny. No one else’s hard work or dedication will get us further. It comes from within. We have the power to be happy, but we also have the capability to fall into the trap of going through the motions day in and day out. Live in the moment. Be present. Have choice. Maybe it is easier said than done, but try taking control of even one aspect of your life and take in the power you feel when you do! It is okay to do things for others and do things with others, but it has to come from a place of interest and want from our perspective, not out of obligation. Here are a few ways I choose happiness in my own life:
1. My career. I am IN LOVE with what I do. I have a desire to do more each and every day. I am never satisfied with staying the same. It is extremely fulfilling to see the people I work with discover happiness. I am grateful I can share my passion with others to help them discover their own.
2. Good vibes only. I used to get so caught up with my emotions and it wore me down. There were things that I once loved, that provided me happiness, that one day no longer fulfilled that space. As tough as it is, we sometimes need to re-evaluate. Whether it be friends, careers, or hobbies, if it isn’t making you as happy as it once did, maybe it is time for change.
3. Grow. Try new things! Look to the future. Never become comfortable with where you are. Always strive to learn more and be better. Keep looking forward. If the best thing to ever happen to you has already happened, then you are in trouble. Remember that the best things have yet to happen.
Maybe it stems more from the fact that we need to grant ourselves permission to find true happiness. I don’t know the full answer to this. It lies within each of us. All of our paths have different pasts and different futures. In order to stop doing things we hate and start doing things we love we need to take action.
Be fierce. Be strong. Be vibrant.