Negativity should never cloud your positivity
High school. Not sure about you, but when I think of those two words I am not going to lie, I cringe a little. Besides the fact that everyone goes through that awkward phase in high school, there was a heck of a lot of pressure to try to fit in. Coming out of high school, I felt confused as to where I fit in because I didn’t conform to what others wanted me to become in those four years. It was definitely not easy and I often questioned my belonging. However, I always knew that what I felt inside was more important than following my peers.
As humans, especially young women, we have a tendency to become defensive when others comment or question what we do or who we are. I have spoken on this next particular statement before but we have to remember that the remarks an individual makes towards us is a reflection of how they are feeling about themselves; it reflects how they are dealing with occurrences within their own lives. It has NOTHING to do with us. It has taken me a long time to finally understand and truly let this statement be a reality. After an interaction with a teammate during a sports game, my friend’s mom told me that it should just be ‘water off my back’ and to not let the negative comments affect me. It has only been within the last year that I finally practiced that statement. I am doing me. Love me and take me for what I can offer, or not.
This past week I unfortunately had a few negative comments thrown my way from people I would have least expected. I was stunned and I am not going to lie, I was bothered by the comments. It actually made me question myself and what I am doing. HOW CRAZY, right?! A friend reminded me again that it should be ‘dirt off my shoulder’ and not care what others think.
So, why was this so hard to hear this time around and why did it bother me so much more? I have finally found the place I am most happy on this earth and I couldn’t feel more complete. It has taken me a long time to truly find this. To then have someone negatively comment about that really hurt. But, with a few reminders I suddenly turned the situation around and realized that the person making the comment must feel unfulfilled or have something going on in their life.
As hurt as we can be by someone else’s comments, we have to remember that it has to do with them and not us. When we find ourselves commenting on others, we have to take a step back and also assess why we feel that way. Instead of holding it against that person, maybe we need to start trying to understand where their feelings are coming from and offer support. Why not try asking how you can help them make their day better? It sucks when people put us down but in order for the world to shine a little brighter, it is on us to reach out, support others, find understanding, and help them get to their happy place.
Be fierce. Be strong. Be vibrant.