Next month we are celebrating my Grandma’s 85th birthday! While having dinner last weekend and mentioning the big day approaching I reminded her how I am turning 25 this year. To my surprise my Grandma’s reaction was, “25?! Time’s ticking!” If you know me you know I am quite independent and am all about female empowerment so to get this reaction from my own grandmother was interesting LOL.
As the steam left my ears and I took a moment before responding all I could get out was, “Oh Grandma, times have changed! But, you have given me a new topic for my blog!” My after thoughts? AS IF SOMEONE IS GOING TO SAY THAT TO ME! And have it be my own Grandma! I guess it just goes to show that times have changed and views are slightly different from an almost 85 year old compared to almost 25 year old me.
As females we are constantly being told what our narrative is supposed to be. Graduate high school, go to post secondary school (maybe not in some cases), find a guy, get married, have kids. But what about those with career aspirations? What about those who see their lives unfolding slightly differently? There is absolutely nothing wrong with aspiring to find a partner and have a family. I too see that happening in the future…but definitely not soon! I have goals and experiences I want to do for me before investing my time into other people.
I have always dreamed big and worked hard to achieve those goals but that has not come without comments, especially from my male counterparts. I have heard more than once that because my career aspirations are set quite high that I am putting pressure on those who might be interested in me. SERIOUSLY?! If you can’t handle a girl who has high standards for success chances are she probably won’t give you much of her time. It’s called motivation. When I see other people working hard to get what they want it doesn’t intimidate or threaten me - it only inspires me to do the same!
Even one week after this experience my mind is still blown that this still happens. I am fortunate that my immediate family and friends have never been one to pressure anyone into doing things a certain way and only supportive of my aspirations. However, I recognize that women are often trying to be people pleasers and can feel stuck when things don’t work out for themselves. Although I have only recently understood this concept for myself, I thought that I would share my tips to pursuing my goals and not letting societal pressures get in the way.
“Surround yourself with only those who are going to lift you higher.” Wise words from Oprah. But a key factor in to my pursuit of success. My parents and brothers are my number one fans and my friends are right there alongside me supporting me however best they can. Regardless of what you are going through in life having people in your corner makes all the difference.
Stand up for yourself. Don’t allow others to dictate your future. Speak your mind and opinion so people understand your worth and value your opinion. Sometimes I find females in particular are afraid to speak up and instead remain passive. I am loud for a reason, to be seen and heard when it is important.
Take a moment to just be with yourself. Reflect on what it is you truly want for yourself. Evaluate the situation you are in whether it be a career, a relationship or otherwise and ask yourself if this is where you feel you need and are meant to be. When being in a situation for an extended period of time we can become complacent and comfortable there. Identify what you want and need and know that if you aren’t getting in your current situation a plan of action needs to be implemented for change.
Follow your vision. As much as we can value the opinions of those around us and want to please, remember this is your life to live. If you want to get married at 25 and have kids, then go for it. If you don’t want any and remain single, do it. However your story plays out needs to be the way you want it to. Of course, life has its unpredictabilities but you have to live it the way you want to, not the way someone else hopes you do.
I hope that this week’s post inspires you to evaluate where you are. Whether you are feeling stuck in a relationship or career because you feel that is what others think you need to be doing, or pressure to hurry up life, take a step back. This is your life. And remember regardless of how anyone else makes you feel just remember I will be working my butt off, happily doing my own thing, if you ever need to chat about it! :)
Yours in self-discovery,